Someone else's life
Have you ever wished you could just walk out of your life and fade away?
Maybe your life is more good than bad. I can't actually say my life is "bad", it just doesn't seem to me mine.
Simply living the life you are in doesn't make it yours. You have to have some say in it... it has to fit your personality, your needs. Mine doesn't, simply put.
I have a lot of interests, none of which do I have time to pursue, or, quite frankly, the energy. I am a night person, working at night suits me, but the job I have is so physically exhausting, all I want to do in my off-time is sleep, or do the basic housekeeping, laundry, and cooking.
If it weren't for my kids, or at least my 6 year old, I would be off finding a new life... But this life, however boring and monotonous for me, is a "stable environment in which to raise a child". (I sound like my mother, OMG) He has some minor learning disabilities, and the school here is amazingly wonderful at working one on one with him, developing a whole program just for him, re-arranging schedules, and breaking rules. They are wonderful. I really would hate to take him away from this now.
I am not sure exactly what I would be doing otherwise. I want to get back into painting, and I REALLY want to get serious about my writing again, (with some recent encouragement, I am doing just that...Thanks rg) but there are things I want to experience.
I have never lived in a town bigger than 6,000 people.
I have never really lived on my own. (I moved from my mom's house to my husband's house at 18, then when we separated I always had the kids with me, and more often than not, R was sleeping on my couch)
I have never eaten in a restaurant alone.
I have never traveled alone. (other than a 350 mile trip to my best friend's house, but that is still in Kansas!)
Only once have I stayed in a motel alone, and that was in Oklahoma City for business meetings, with my traveling companions in the rooms beside mine.
I have never flown in a plane.
I have never been in a "real" club, just a tiny one in Wichita KS, where there were shootings and knife fights outside in the streets and we had to wade through rioting and officers galore to get back to the car... Tell me nights out aren't always like that!?! I have only been to one New Year's Eve party in my life. (that was at my good friend and editor's house for his birthday, he was born Dec. 31.)
I have never seen the ocean.
I have never seen the desert.
I have lived such a sheltered life... And always been treated like a child by my family...
I want my OWN life... Maybe, when my son graduates high school in 13 years, I MIGHT be able to start my life then....
Maybe your life is more good than bad. I can't actually say my life is "bad", it just doesn't seem to me mine.
Simply living the life you are in doesn't make it yours. You have to have some say in it... it has to fit your personality, your needs. Mine doesn't, simply put.
I have a lot of interests, none of which do I have time to pursue, or, quite frankly, the energy. I am a night person, working at night suits me, but the job I have is so physically exhausting, all I want to do in my off-time is sleep, or do the basic housekeeping, laundry, and cooking.
If it weren't for my kids, or at least my 6 year old, I would be off finding a new life... But this life, however boring and monotonous for me, is a "stable environment in which to raise a child". (I sound like my mother, OMG) He has some minor learning disabilities, and the school here is amazingly wonderful at working one on one with him, developing a whole program just for him, re-arranging schedules, and breaking rules. They are wonderful. I really would hate to take him away from this now.
I am not sure exactly what I would be doing otherwise. I want to get back into painting, and I REALLY want to get serious about my writing again, (with some recent encouragement, I am doing just that...Thanks rg) but there are things I want to experience.
I have never lived in a town bigger than 6,000 people.
I have never really lived on my own. (I moved from my mom's house to my husband's house at 18, then when we separated I always had the kids with me, and more often than not, R was sleeping on my couch)
I have never eaten in a restaurant alone.
I have never traveled alone. (other than a 350 mile trip to my best friend's house, but that is still in Kansas!)
Only once have I stayed in a motel alone, and that was in Oklahoma City for business meetings, with my traveling companions in the rooms beside mine.
I have never flown in a plane.
I have never been in a "real" club, just a tiny one in Wichita KS, where there were shootings and knife fights outside in the streets and we had to wade through rioting and officers galore to get back to the car... Tell me nights out aren't always like that!?! I have only been to one New Year's Eve party in my life. (that was at my good friend and editor's house for his birthday, he was born Dec. 31.)
I have never seen the ocean.
I have never seen the desert.
I have lived such a sheltered life... And always been treated like a child by my family...
I want my OWN life... Maybe, when my son graduates high school in 13 years, I MIGHT be able to start my life then....
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